Directive #2: View Family As A Blessing- Not A Responsibility
So, as we get start sharing more about this Directive, please allow me to take just a moment and share with you a couple definitions from the dictionary Re: the words blessing, and responsibility.
Blessing
1. the act or words of a person who blesses.
2. a special favor, mercy, or benefit: the blessings of liberty.
3. a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.
4. the invoking of God's favor upon a person.
5. praise; devotion; worship, esp. grace said before a meal.
Responsibility
1. the state or fact of being responsible.
2. an instance of being responsible.
3. a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible: the responsibilities of authority.
4. a person or thing for which one is responsible.
5. reliability or dependability, esp. in meeting debts or payments.
In our story, Roger's wife feels all alone. Her husband is rarely home, and even when he is there physically, he is not really there emotionally. His children feel as though he is a stranger, and they simply want to have more time with their father.
As we get to know Roger better, we began to understand his motivation for working so hard, and for spending so many hours away from the most important people in his life.
He has convinced himself that the reason he is doing all that he is, is because he is trying to provide a better standard of living for his wife and children. On the surface, this all seems to make sense. After all, we can all relate to Roger in that we want to provide a successful lifestyle for our families.
But, as is so often the case, while we are in pursuit of more physical possessions, we can lose those that are the most important to us, our family.
But somewhere along the way, Rogers motives, but while seemingly right and healthy to him, have progressed to the point, that he has lost all perspective for what real success is in life.
For what good is it to have expensive cars, clothes, houses, and provide the best education to our children, if they don't really know who we are in our hearts?
Isn't the real purpose in life to know and love our friends and family?
You see Roger was at the point in his life he felt like his family was really a responsibility, and not a blessing.
In his mind, he had come to the conclusion that he had to go off each day to the office and work to the point of exhaustion, simply because his wife and children needed a house in which to live, food to eat, clothes on their back, and have all the best that life has to offer.
Each day as he would leave the house and head off to work, he was doing so not because he understood his value as a husband and father, but primarily, saw his role is that of the one to provide material possessions for the family.
In other words, he had a clear picture of his "responsibility" to provide financially for his family, but he did not truly understand the importance of the relationships with his wife and children.
This Directive is not what it might appear to be on the surface. In fact, it would be fair to say that the "heart" of this Directive is nearly impossible to understand just by reading Janitor Bob.
The Directive "View Family As A Blessing- Not A Responsibility," is rooted in our view in perspective of the real reason for our work and career.
Most people feel that the primary reason for work is to make money. And that the primary reason to make money is to provide for our families. We have no problem or disagreement with the fact that we must indeed work to provide food, clothing, shelter, and education. However, this directive is about helping us to understand a bigger picture. When it comes to our work and career.
You see when it comes to our perspective our work, we can choose from one of two perspectives- one where we view our work as a blessing, the other as a responsibility (or burden). Sometimes the only difference is in how we CHOOSE to view them.
In one case, we work because we "must" do so. In the other case, we consider it a privilege and a blessing to get up each day, and go make a positive contribution in the marketplace.
On the surface, it could seem as though this Directive or is simply another attempt to tell people that their family should get more of their time and attention than does their work and career- another way to cause people to feel guilty because they are not spending enough time with their spouse and kids (if they are married and/or have children).
The reality of it is this- anyone who is working a full time job, building a career, or running a business or organization understands that the reality is that it is truly impossible to "balance" all the demands placed on them.
Consider this, in a 7 day week- there are exactly 168 available hours.
A major crisis exists today in my country, the United States of America- and I suspect it is the case here in South Korea as well. And that is that most Americans are not getting the recommended 8 hours sleep per night (www.webmd.com) Recent research indicates less than 1 in 4 adults are getting the recommended amount of sleep.
Assuming averaging only 6 hours sleep per night- that is 42 hours per week-we are now down to 126 available hours.
Assuming a 45 hour work week, we are now down to 81 available hours per week. According to recent U.S. Census surveys, we now average nearly 4 hours per week commuting to and from work- down to 77 hours each week.
Throw in all the other activities of running a household (grocery shopping, running errands, children's sports, music lessons, etc.), personal exercise, community responsibilities, etc., and it easy to see that it would be nearly impossible to "balance" life.
So rather than trying to "pile on" with the guilt, this Directive is built around developing a different perspective of WHY we work, and HOW all the things we must do are blessings rather than burdens.
Rather than focusing on how much time our work and careers are taking from our families, this Directive develops a Biblical view of WHY God created work in the first place, and HOW we can glorify Him in and through it.
Once we understand the real (and Biblical) purpose to our work, we can come to the realization that our work is something that we do not do just because we need to "make a living." Rather it becomes part of our "having a life."
As part of the foundation of this Directive, I would like to share with you a story out to fictional characters.
Our first character is one who greatly enjoys his/her work. We shall name him or her (Fulfilled Fred/Frita).
This person clearly understands why we work and sees God's purpose for it.
Our 2nd character is bored by their work and sees it only as a way to "pay the bills," (Bored Bill/Betty).
As we see how each character views their work, we will come to understand that how they view their families is directly affected by their attitude in their work /career.
I am not sure exactly how things work in your country, that let me take a moment and share with you, how it works for me back home.
I am not proud to admit to you, what I'm about to share. But typically, the kind of day I had at work at the office directly affects how I treat my family that night at home.
For example, let's say that a major project or a proposal that I have been working on for months finally, happens. Can you relate?
When I come home that night I am so happy and excited because great things happened that day at the office. I am eager to see my wife and children, and to spend time laughing with them, hugging and kissing them. Why? Because I had a great day at work! And I feel free to simply enjoy the blessing of being with my family.
Contrast this with when I have had a bad day at the office. Something went wrong or did not go as I had hoped or planned. Therefore, I come home at the end of the day in a bad mood. And who do you suspect is the recipient of my bad mood? My family, of course. Again, let me say I am not proud of this, but this is all too often the case.
So the directive of View family as a Blessing, Not a responsibility, has more to do with my motives and goals at work, and having a clear biblical perspective of why God created work in the first place, then would be obviously seen simply by reading the book Janitor Bob.
Let me explain a little further. Going back into the book of Genesis in the Bible, in Genesis chapter 2 verse 15 - it says that God put Adam to work in the garden to tend it and to take care of it. Imagine at this time Adam had not yet sinned. He had not yet eaten from the forbidden tree. He was still in perfect communion and relationship with God, and everything was still in perfect order. Therefore, we can logically conclude that Adams work in the garden was certainly part of his worship experience of God. His work was vital to him for filling his life purpose. God even gave Adam a job before he gave him a wife- a lesson we should all remember!
You see I have heard it taught in my home country of America, that the reason we must go to work each day is because of Adam's disobedience in the garden. There are those who believe that work is a part of the curse that God issued for mankind's disobedience. I do not believe this to be the case. I believe God created work as a very important part of our worship experience of him.
In fact, in the original Hebrew language the Bible quite often uses the Hebrew word "Avodah," which is used all throughout the Scripture interchangeably to mean both "work" and "worship."
Isn't that interesting? That perhaps what God is telling us is that our work can certainly be part of our worship of Him.
So, what this means is that we should not be going to work just to make a living because we have to, but that our work is part of our worship to God and that we are to do it to bring glory to Him.
Allow me to share one more personal illustration from my own life back in America. It is not uncommon in the morning at my house that as I am leaving for the office, my four-year-old daughter comes up to me with tears in her eyes. She throws her arms around my legs and says "Daddy please don't go to work today."
I am sure that every mother and father in this audience, who has ever had to leave a child in tears can understand how difficult this is.
However, because I understand that the opportunity to go to work each day is a blessing from God, I am very careful with the words that I choose for my daughter.
I do not tell her that "Daddy has to go to work today." For if I imply to her that work is something I must do just to pay the bills and to provide for the material things in life. I have missed the point.
So rather than saying "Daddy has to go to work today," I say to her "Daddy GETS to go to work today. It is my chance to worship God in and through my work."
So, in summary, my work is a blessing and not a responsibility, and therefore so too is my family a blessing and not a responsibility.
